|confidence attracts confidence|
We are outdoors these days, even in the heat. We are drawn to the sunshine, to nature, gardening, travelling, tending, tanning.... reveling in the lovely lazy days of summer. I know that after a week in Colorado, on my first solo vacation in years, I felt adventurous, alive, and confident. Things that I hadn't really felt in a long time.
Confidence draws people. If you feel good about yourself, you feel good about your world, and people, known and unknown, want to share that with you. Self-assurance is alluring.
In our daily routines, we may forget to relish our confidence. It is often easier to embrace the "can't do that" mentality, than it is to fearlessly forge ahead with the "can do" attitude. Plus we are also programmed to be ashamed or embarrassed if things don't go just right... so it is easier not to try, than it is to try and fail.
Remind yourself of the magnetism of confidence and then realize that there are many, small things that we can do to increase our assurance-quota. They don't require a lot of effort but the impact is significant.
1) Like yourself and assume that people like you, too. It makes it easier to be around others, and it stills the small nagging voice that tries to undermine you. If I don't like myself, who will?
2) Don't slouch. My grandma Louise was a firm believer in sitting and standing tall and proud. Evidence suggests that slouching makes you look and feel insecure. When I am feeling most afraid is when I stand my tallest.
3) Make eye contact. Confident people look at you directly, whether the situation is pleasant or not. Even if you are feeling insecure, eye contact will NOT relay that message to others.
4) Clean out the clutter in your wallet, your purse, your desk, your closet. Clutter tends to overwhelm us. File receipts, copy business cards into your smart phone, throw away garbage and snippets of meaningless papers. Managing your clutter will help you feel in control of your life.
5) Stop envying others. Remember someone is always richer and someone is always poorer than you. Skinnier, fatter, prettier, wiser, wittier. Relax, stop comparing and relish who you are and what you have.
6) Start a gratitude list. Be grateful for the small things as well as the large. A car that gets you to work and is paid for, a job that let's you pay your bills, your good health, the bird nesting in your backyard, the view from the bridge as I cross the harbor to work....all things to be grateful for. You are blessed.
7) Make a decision, don't over-analyze, don't ponder every possible ramification, those are anxious and paralyzing behaviors. Make a commitment and never look back. Be glad for your decisions; even those that don't end up quite as you planned have undoubtedly taught a lesson or afforded an adventure you may never have otherwise experienced. I try never to spend energy ruminating on what some could label as mistakes. I can't change the past, but agonizing can ruin the present.
8) Step away from the mirror. You can be your own worst critic. Paying too much attention to your appearance generally causes unhappiness. It also takes away your energy from doing something constructive with positive, long-term results like exercising, attending classes or seminars, or meditating.
9) Congratulate yourself on daily done deeds. Never under value what you have accomplished. If you have a to-do list, create an already done list as well. I like to list activities and tasks done on a calendar. Later I look back and remind myself of everything that I have done.
10) Take care of yourself. Start trying out new, healthy recipes. Use produce from the farmer's market. Take a walk in the morning and another at dusk. Meditate and pray. Get adequate sleep. Take a good blend of multi vitamins for women. Start breathing with intention.
Be healthy, be safe, take your WomenVitamins, and be blessed, Kersten